You get to almost 40, and you think you know stuff. If you're a shrink raised by shrinks, you think you know the capacity of human emotion. Yet, there's always room for humility and growth. I find myself there with Neat Guy. I really, truly, had no idea love was like this. It's similar to the love I have for my children in its naturalness and depth. Yet also a passionate and abiding love like that modeled by my mom and stepdad. To experience it myself...I search for words. "Wonderful" barely covers it. It's this great mix of wonderous, comfortable, warm, heady, exciting, tender, safe, natural, inspiring, and joyous. I feel lucky, blessed, fortunate. I feel loved.
Neat Guy and I are going on 10 months together. I'm thrilled to say that he's all the things I've written previously, and a few extra. Exhilerating top notes of infatuation have lifted to reveal the comforting heartbeat of a relationship that both nurtures and stimulates. That's a fancy way of saying the new has worn off and what's underneath is even better. This is different than what I've known before.
I think this might even be normal.
Our daughters were talking marriage 8 months ago. We call that "Disney Princess Speed". In fact, I think it was on the second meeting that my oldest told Neat Guy, "We're gonna need a bigger house." She wasn't joking. There are 5 kids between us.
Asking if there is a future for us is like asking if we plan to keep breathing. The big picture requires a good balance of pragmatism and romance. I think of how good this journey with him has been. And that it has been healthy because we've been honest, laughed, and taken our time. The result is a relationship that is "comfy and joyful" [his words :-) ] and better than I ever imagined.
10 Great Things About My Relationship with Neat Guy:
1) He is always himself.
2) I can see how much he loves me in his eyes.
3) We laugh together.
4) His family is a wonderful bunch of people. You can see how he got that way.
5) My family adores him. My mom brags about him to other people.
6) Our kids get along.
7) Our kids want us together.
8) We have common goals.
9) We have mutual respect and appreciation.
10) I trust him.
