It's That Easy

About 20 years ago I asked my stepdad how I would know a relationship was meant to be. He replied, "Because it will be easy."

He's a very phlegmatic guy, so keeping that in mind let's define "easy". He explained that it would not just be the "easy" of a personality click, but that there would be a simplicity to it, a lack of strife. It would recharge you, encourage you, empower you. Inspire reciprocation. An "easy" relationship would be a soft place to fall, a breath of fresh air, what you would want to seek out at the end of a day. And fun.

I thought he was nuts. What a fairytale! Nothing was that simple! So, I held onto my belief that relationships were challenging. That belief led me right into that experience.

It wasn't until about 6 years ago that I realized the really great relationships and most meaningful choices in my life had a common purity much like my stepdad described: they were clear, felt "right", nourished my soul, inspired me to give back. Some outstanding examples: meeting/getting to know my stepdad and stepsiblings, my best friend in high school, the choice to perservere getting a Masters Degree, to have and love my kids, and meeting/getting to know my best friend in the universe Miss Daisy.

So what did that say about romantic relationships? That was still elusive to me until about 2 weeks ago as Neat Guy and I sat out on his deck one evening laughing and talking. We carry on like we've known eachother for years. It just flows, it's so comfortable, so fun, so healthy. Out of the blue I realized:

Daddy was right.

People try to bottle what he described. Psychology buffs try to explain it, replicate it.What it boils down to is that many truly solid relationships and choices are beneficent, harmonious, and reciprocal on what I can only think to term as the "soul" level. They recharge, encourage, and empower. Life will still swarm around you...yet with these people, in these decisions there is clarity and security...Your soul can rest. Which is the kind of "easy" he meant.

It's that easy.